I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
