i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
