This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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