Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
