You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
