i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
