Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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