he wants to bone in the snuggie
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
