In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
