If that was your dad, he is hot
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
They have beer where we have blood.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
