Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
