so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
