im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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