I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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