they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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