I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
So vagazzling was a success
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
