I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
