So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
