p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
