and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
