Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
