I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize