So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
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