she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I FOUND THE LEGS
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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