i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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