Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
