I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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