and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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