She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
