NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
