Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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