my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Edward fifth and chaser hands
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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