He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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