can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
