Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
How external is "for external use only"?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
