there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
