Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
