You made me cry and you don't even care
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
this will be a night to untag.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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