At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
