I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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