she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
this boner is exhausting
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
