So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
