I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
