its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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