one two three fourrrrnication!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i believe in u and ur pee
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
