i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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