I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
