There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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