weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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