You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
