Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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