I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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